Interpersonal Conflict

Background information:

When I was 7 years old, my father went to Japan to pursue his PhD. Thus, my mother took care of me single-handedly for 6 years. During this period, due to stress from work, my mother was not in good health. Despite that, she still cared about me the most.

Story:

About three years ago, my mother was diagnosed with some kind of tumour in her body. Although it was not fatal and it was treatable, it seemed like a bomb to my mother. Before the diagnosis, my parents kept it a secret from me. So I had no clue. That was until one day when their quarrel attracted my attention. I walked into their room. I saw my mother lying on the bed, sniffing. My father was sitting on the bed and staring at the floor. My mother noticed me entering and began to tell me the whole story. The first time the doctor told my mother that there was a tumour in her body, she was so shocked and scared. However, my father was quite optimistic and did not treat this as a big deal. Moreover, he did not offer to take care of housework in order to lighten the burden of my mother. Hence, my mother was very upset and broken-hearted.

After hearing the story, I asked about the real situation of this tumour and tried to reassure her. However, my mother was quite upset with my reaction as well. She did not understand how I could remain so calm after hearing the bad news even though she had raised me on her own for six years. She claimed that I was too cold to her and that I did not behave like how a good son should. At that moment, I had the impulse to ask her what she expected me to do. Hold her hands and cry with her? It was not what a man would do. But I knew it was inappropriate to say so.

Question:

If you were me, what would you say and how would you behave after hearing the news and what you would say to both my parents who were in the middle of a quarrel?